Before we got married, I brought it up to M that I wanted to talk about what we did with our last names. He thought that meant that I wasn't sure if I wanted to get married. Once I reassured him on that matter, we realized that it would be easier for the honeymoon if I just kept my maiden name for now. It was important to me to talk about it though, because I think it's ridiculous that it's just assumed that the woman will change her name. I was not the property of my father, I am not the property of my husband, I am my own person.
Since then I've been trying to decide how to honor my new status in life, without letting go of my identity. So instead of letting go of my identity, I'm adding to it. I will be keeping my maiden name as a second middle name if they let me. And if they don't, I'll hyphenate. Although that will be a lot of letters to write down.
I tried to convince him that we should smoosh the first and last halves of both of our names together into one new name...but he didn't like that idea.
So, I'm excited about adding to my identity. But, I'm a little sad about having a different last name than the one I've had for 28 years. Even if I'm not losing it entirely. But, I put R as my last name down on my Master's diploma, so now I have to do it.
Goodbye C. A. M. Hello C.A.M.R.